We’ve all seen it—that moment when she’s halfway through washing dishes, shoulders slumped, then suddenly straightens her back with a soft exhale. Spilled milk. Bedtime battles. Through it all, somehow she finds a way to make the kids laugh with that one silly joke they love. It’s ordinary, these daily struggles, but in those small victories, there’s a quiet strength that keeps us going. I’ve watched her from our kitchen table, coffee cup in hand, wondering how to say thank you for the moments that go unnoticed—the moments where we’re really winning at parenting.
Why We’re Missing the Small Victories (And How to Find Them Again)
We’ve been taught to look for the big moments—the first steps, the awards, the picture-perfect family dinners. But what about the quiet victories that happen in between? Like the time she managed to swipe on sunscreen while the kids squirmed, or the dinner she somehow salvaged when the toddler declared it ‘too yucky.’ The crumbs are everywhere, the house is a mess, but the kids are fed. We often forget that those are the moments that make up the daily marathon of parenthood.
You know, it’s funny how we rush through our days without noticing these little wins. We’re so focused on the finish line that we miss the beautiful scenery along the way. As a dad who’s grown up with both Korean and Canadian values, I’ve learned that strength often looks different in our family than in the parenting magazines. Sometimes I think about how we analyze data at work, looking for patterns. But in parenting, the real patterns are in these quiet, everyday moments.
Here’s what I’ve noticed: Those small victories create a kind of quiet strength, a foundation that holds us up when the big moments are overwhelming. What if we started judging our success by these little wins instead of just the big milestones? It’s not about winning the day. It’s about winning the messy moment. It’s about finding the tiny victory in the chaos of now.
How a Single Moment of Quiet Joy Changed Everything
Last week, I watched her do this thing that I almost missed. She was packing lunches for school, the clock ticking away, and the kids were arguing over who got the last cookie. Our daughter, who’s just turned seven, had been begging for that chocolate chip cookie since breakfast. I’ll admit, I almost missed it in my rush to get out the door that morning. She’d been up since before dawn, and her shoulders were tight. I could see her take a deep breath, then pause. Then she did something unexpected—she turned the cookie into a game. ‘First one to put on their shoes wins! No, it’s a race to the door! Ready? Go!’
The laughter in the hallway was her victory. It wasn’t perfect, but it was intentional. And those small moments—they’re the ones that make us feel like we’re not just surviving, but actually building a family.
It wasn’t about the cookie. It was about how she chose to handle the moment. That’s the kind of victory that changes everything. We’ve never pushed structured classes, preferring instead to let our daughter discover her passions through play. You should see her face light up when she’s creating something on her own!
The Simple Way We’re Starting to Celebrate Our Wins
We’ve started doing this thing—just a small pause at the end of the day. We sit together on the couch, after the kids are asleep, and share a moment. We don’t review the big achievements. Instead, we talk about the tiny triumphs. It might sound like: ‘I saw you get the kids to eat their vegetables without a fight.’ Or ‘I noticed how you calmed the baby down when she was crying.’ It’s never about the trophy. It’s about the small, quiet, human moments that made us feel connected.
Think of it as a way to honor the everyday victories—those moments that usually go unnoticed but are so essential to our family’s happiness. We’re not perfect, but we’re learning to celebrate the small steps that make us feel like we’re winning together.